1000 English Funny Jokes || english jokes 2024
A joke is a brief narrative or an account of an amusing incident, often with a punch line, that is told to provoke laughter or divert attention. Jokes can be based on wordplay, humorously exaggerated situations, or can simply be statements that are meant to be taken as humorous. Jokes are a common form of entertainment and are often told in social settings such as parties, at gatherings, or online.You can find savage jokes in English as English language add some kind of feel to the jokes. Do you also love to read and share english funny jokes? Then your search ends here. Don't look further for the same here and there. Jokes can be reason for your hook with someone, it can help you start with someone. You can even
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- go on a diet
I wanted to go on a diet,
but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now. - holy water
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
- receives a phone call
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”
The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”
The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”
The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.” - difference between
Q: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer - marry after I die
A husband asks his wife, “Will you marry after I die?”
The wife responds, “No, I will live with my sister.”
The wife asks him back, “Will you marry after I die?”
The husband responds, “No, I will also live with your sister.”
marry funny husband wife jokes 2023 - plate of rice
Customer in a restaurant: I would like to have a plate of rice and a piece of fried chicken and a cup of coffee
Waitress : Is it enough Sir?
Customer : What? Do you think I can’t buy more? - Husbands are like Bluetooth
All Husbands are like Bluetooth.
Always connected to wife when she is around.
But
The moment wife is Away,
They automatically start searching new devices. - 2 cats
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!” - addicted to soap
I used to be addicted to soap.
But I’m clean now.soap Hilarious Jokes 2023 - Santa Goes Into A Bar
Santa Goes Into A Bar In New York.
The Man On His Right Orders A Drink, ‘Johnnie Walker, Single.’
The Man On His Left Says, ‘Jack Daniels, Single.’
Santa Says. ‘Santa Singh, Married.’ - drinking a lot
A wife says, “Hey! Look at that funny guy whose been
drinking a lot.” The husband responds, “Who is he?”
The wife answers, “Well, five years ago, he was
my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage.” “Oh my God!
He’s still celebrating his freedom!” says the husband. - cats bad storytellers
Why are cats bad storytellers?
Because they only have one tale. - glass coffins
Do you think glass coffins will be a success?
Remains to be seen. - fish blush
Q: Why did the fish blush?
A: Because it saw the ocean’s bottom. - Humpty Dumpty
Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.Humpty Funny Jokes 2023 - mom texts
A mom texts, “Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?” He texts back,
“I Don’t Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later.” The mom texts him,
“It’s ok, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister,
love you too.” - Girlfriend Broke Up With Me
Boy: My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me And Sent Me Pics Of Her With Her New Boyfriend. Friend: Really Bad, What Did You Do?
Boy: I Sent Those Pics To Her Dad. - dancer except for two things
Dancer Except For Two Things joke Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet. - kidnapping
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It’s okay. He woke up.Kidnapping Hilarious Jokes 2023 - corner of a room
If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.
