funny santa banta jokes english 2024
Salesman: Sir, do you want this powder ?
Santa: For what ?
Salesman: For ants
Santa: No. If I give powder today, they will ask lipstick tomorrow!!
Santa: Let’s go for movie.
Banta: Shit, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment today..
Santa: Just cancel it,Tell him you’re sick????
Tourist: Whose Skeleton Is That?
Sardar: An Old King’s Skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s That Smaller Skeleton Next To It?
Sardar: That Was Same King’s Skeleton When He Was A Child.
2 Sardar Were Fixing A Bomb In A Car.
Sardar 1: What Would You Do If The Bomb
Explodes While Fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont Worry, I Have One More.
Santa reading newspaper..
News: “Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump”
Santa comments: Idiot !! Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!
Santa : I have more Fans than You..
Banta: No Big deal, I have AC at Home.
After knee replacement,
Orthopaedic surgeon : u will have to use walker for few days after surgery.
Santa: ok, will Johnny Walker be okay?
Santa had a leakage in the roof over his dining room.
Plumber asked: “Sir when did u notice it ??”
Santa: “Last night…. when it took me 3 hours to finish my soup”
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: An old king’s skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken..
Santa: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Santa: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Santa: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.
Santa: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car.
Santa: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Banta: Dont worry, I have one more
Boss: Where were you born?
Santa: India ..
Boss: which part?
Santa: What ‘which part’? Whole body was born in India .
Police: R u married?
Santa: Yes, with a woman.
Police (angrily) : Of course! Did u even hear of anyone marrying a man?
Santa: Yes, my sister did….!!!
Employee: Sir, Banta Singh is standing outside your cabin with a bunch of underwears in a basket!
Boss: Oh shit! I told him to debrief his team and meet me in 15 mins
Santa: I’m going to watch “Mission Impossible” tonite.
Banta: On cable or at theater?
Santa: Not the film, my wife bought slim fit jeans & she is going to try it !!
Teacher: Tell me the difference between a Callgirl, Girlfriend and Wife.
The whole class became silent till little Santa Singh put up his hand and answered: Prepaid, Postpaid and Unlimited.
Santa and Banta are looking through an e-shopping website.
Santa: “Look at these gorgeous women. The price are reasonable too”.
Banta agress: “I’am Ordering one now!”
3 weeks later
Santa “Has your Women turned up yet?”
Banta:”No… but it shouldn’t be long now. Her clothes arrived yesterday.”
best santa banta jokes english
Santa: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Santa: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.????
Interviewer: Just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Santa: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
Santa writes: “Gandhi was a great man, but I don’t know who is Jayanthi.
tourist santa banta jokes english funny
One tourist from U.S.A. asked Santa: Any great man born in this village???
Santa: no sir, only small Babies!!!
After returning back from a foreign trip, santa asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Santa: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
Manager asked Santa at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Santa replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X
teacher santa banta jokes english funny
Teacher: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Santa: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE
Teacher: “What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?”
Santa: “All are born on government holidays…!!!
Santa: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Banta: Wow!!! That’s an unbelievable exchange offer!!
Santa: I think that girl is deaf..
Banta: How do u know?
Santa: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new
What happens when a Santa’s wife delivers twins????
The Santa does not sleep whole night, thinking who is the father of second child…
Santa went to Art Gallery
Santa : I suppose this horrible luking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!
Santa & wife buy coffee in a shop.
Santa: Drink quickly before it gets cold.
Wife: Why?
Santa: Hot coffee $5 and cold coffee $10.
hilarious santa banta jokes english
Boss: Where Were You Born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: Which Part?
Sardar: What ‘Which Part’? Whole Body Was Born In India .
Once There Was A Mirror That Killed Anyone Who Lied…
French : I Think I Dont Smoke (Died).
American : I Think I Love My Wife (Died).
Santa: I Think.. (Died)????
Santa, Hard Of Hearing, Realises That He Needs To Buy A Hearing Aid, But He Feels Unwilling To Spend Too Much Money.
‘How Much Do They Cost?’ He Asks Manbir, The Shopkeeper.
‘That Depends,’ Says. Manbir, ‘They Run From £20 To £2,000.’
‘Let’s See The £20 Model,’ Asks Santa.
Manbir Puts The Device Around Santa’s Neck Instructing, ‘You Just Stick This Button In Your Ear And Run This Little String Down To Your Pocket.’
‘How Does It Work?’ Santa Inquires.
‘For Only £20 It Doesn’t Work,” Manbir Replies, ‘But When People See It On You, They’ll Talk Louder!’
U Cheated Me – Santa Banta English Funny
Sardar: U Cheated Me.
Shopkeeper: No, I Sold A Good Radio To U.
Sardar: Radio Label Shows Made In Japan But Radio Says This Is ‘All India Radio! ‘
Sardar: What Is The Name Of Your Car?
Lady: I Forgot The Name, But Is Starts With ‘T’.
Sardar: Oh, What A Strange Car, Starts With Tea. All Cars That I Know Start With Petrol.
Santa: I Think That Girl Is Deaf..
Banta: How Do U Know?
Santa: I Told I Love Her, But She Said Her Chappals Are New
Movie santa banta jokes english
Santa: Let’s Go For Movie.
Banta: Shit, I’ve Got A Doctor’s Appointment Today..
Santa: Just Cancel It,Tell Him You’re Sick.????
Santa And Banta Are Walking On A Road, And They Find A 1000 Rupee Note Lying Down.
Santa – What Should We Do Now?
Banta- We’ll Take 50:50.
Santa- What About The Remaining 900?
At The Scene Of An Accident A Man Was Crying: O God! I Have Lost My Hand, Oh!
Sardar: Control Yourself. Don’t Cry. See That Man. He Has Lost His Head. Is He Crying?
Sardar Joined New Job. 1st Day He Worked Till Late Evening On The Computer. Boss Was Happy And Asked What You Did Till Evening.
Sardar: Keyboard Alphabets Were Not In Order, So I Made It Alright.
