1000 English Funny Jokes || english jokes 2024
A joke is a brief narrative or an account of an amusing incident, often with a punch line, that is told to provoke laughter or divert attention. Jokes can be based on wordplay, humorously exaggerated situations, or can simply be statements that are meant to be taken as humorous. Jokes are a common form of entertainment and are often told in social settings such as parties, at gatherings, or online.You can find savage jokes in English as English language add some kind of feel to the jokes. Do you also love to read and share english funny jokes? Then your search ends here. Don't look further for the same here and there. Jokes can be reason for your hook with someone, it can help you start with someone. You can even
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- submit me a paragraph
Teacher: You promised me to
submit me a paragraph, right?
Student: Yes Sir.
Teacher: And I also promised that if
you fail to submit it, I will punish you, right?
Student: Yes Sir, so it will be fair
if you break your promise too. - getting larger
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball
kept getting larger. Then it hit me. - Google male or female
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion. - Santa Goes Into A Bar
Santa Goes Into A Bar In New York.
The Man On His Right Orders A Drink, ‘Johnnie Walker, Single.’
The Man On His Left Says, ‘Jack Daniels, Single.’
Santa Says. ‘Santa Singh, Married.’ - refrigerator door
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator
door was opened? Close the door, I’m dressing. - lab partners
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague. - opposite sides
Two men meet on opposite sides of a river.
One shouts to the other, “I need you to help me get to the other side!”
The other guy replies, “You’re on the other side!” - found in the bathroom
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste. - Irishmen
So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: “You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They’ll rob you blind. Don’t you go paying them what they ask. You haggle.” At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, “That’ll be twenty dollars, lads.” “Oh no you don’t! My dad warned me about you. You’ll only be getting fifteen dollars from me,” says one of the men. “And you’ll only be getting fifteen from me too,” adds the other.
- would you describe
Wife: “How would you describe me?”
Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
Wife: “What does that mean?”
Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
Husband: “I’m just kidding!” - school kids eat
Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. - send me your smiles
Boy: if you are smiling send me your smiles
– if you are sleeping send me your dreams
– if you are crying send me your tears
I LOVE YOU!
Girl: I am in the toilet what do i send? - bought some shoes
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them
with, but I was tripping all day! - invented knock knock
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
- corner of a room
If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.
- hippo and a zippo
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. - chicken
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
Student: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Student: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Student: “Homework!” - people born
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies,
then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother,
asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”
The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family - green grape
Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: “Breathe, stupid!” - favourite memory unmarried
Favourite Memory santa banta Joke funny Banta: What is your favourite memory when you were unmarried?
Santa: Not being scared of Festival/Seasonal Big Brand Sales!
