1000 English Funny Jokes || english jokes 2024
A joke is a brief narrative or an account of an amusing incident, often with a punch line, that is told to provoke laughter or divert attention. Jokes can be based on wordplay, humorously exaggerated situations, or can simply be statements that are meant to be taken as humorous. Jokes are a common form of entertainment and are often told in social settings such as parties, at gatherings, or online.You can find savage jokes in English as English language add some kind of feel to the jokes. Do you also love to read and share english funny jokes? Then your search ends here. Don't look further for the same here and there. Jokes can be reason for your hook with someone, it can help you start with someone. You can even
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- pirate
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey. - full form of Maths
A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
The student answered, ‘Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students’ - holy water
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
- left side
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
- help me in the gardening
Wife: Can u help me in the gardening ?
Husband: What do u think I am…a gardener ?
Wife: Can u fix the door handle ?
Husband: What do you think I am… a Carpenter ?
In the evening, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.
Husband: Who did all this ?
Wife: Our neighbour.
But he gave me 2 options…..
Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.
Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger.
Wife: What do u think I am…….McDonalds ?!! - Google male or female
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion. - would you describe
Wife: “How would you describe me?”
Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
Wife: “What does that mean?”
Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
Husband: “I’m just kidding!” - sad coffee
What do you call sad coffee?”
Despresso - black and white
What’s black and white and goes around and around?
A penguin in a revolving door. - tallest building
Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world?
A: The library, because it has so many stories. - Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope. - Nacho Cheese
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho Cheese. - won the lottery
Man- What would you do if I won the lottery?
Woman- Take half and leave!
Man- Well, I won 20 bucks, here’s 10, now get out! - swordfish say
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You’re looking sharp.
- bitten by a vampire
Patient: Doctor, I think that I’ve been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, I but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks. - green grape
Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: “Breathe, stupid!” - Sarah goes to school
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.
Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?” Sarah waves her hand, “Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!”
Miss Rogers says, “All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?” Sarah says,
“Mas-tur-bate.” Miss Rogers smiles and says, “Wow, Sarah, that’s a mouthful.” Sarah says, “No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob.” - I am beautiful
An old teacher asked her student,
“If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?”
The student replied, “It is obviously past.” - ball kept
I was wondering why the ball kept getting
bigger and bigger, and then it hit me. - Santa Goes Into A Bar
Santa Goes Into A Bar In New York.
The Man On His Right Orders A Drink, ‘Johnnie Walker, Single.’
The Man On His Left Says, ‘Jack Daniels, Single.’
Santa Says. ‘Santa Singh, Married.’