• plate of rice

    Customer in a restaurant: I would like to have a plate of rice and a piece of fried chicken and a cup of coffee
    Waitress : Is it enough Sir?
    Customer : What? Do you think I can’t buy more?

  • lamb of God

    If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus is the lamb of God, does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

  • father grows

    A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence.
    “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy.
    A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”

  • Jimmy got home

    One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, “Why are you home so early?”
    He answered, “Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.” She said,
    “Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?” Jimmy replied, “The question was
    ‘Who threw the trash can at the principal’s head?'”

  • bought some shoes

    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
    I don’t know what he laced them
    with, but I was tripping all day!