• green grape

    Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
    A: “Breathe, stupid!”

  • father grows

    A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence.
    “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy.
    A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”

  • another year to think

    A boyfriend asks his girlfriend:
    What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine’s Day?
    Well, I don’t know, – she answers,
    BF-OK, that I give you another year to think about it…

  • orthopedic shoes

    “I stand corrected!”
    Said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

  • full form of Maths

    A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
    The student answered, ‘Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students’

  • chewing gum

    Teacher: I think you are chewing gum.
    John: No Sir, I am John Smith.

  • fish blush

    Q: Why did the fish blush?
    A: Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

  • invented knock knock

    Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

  • ILY funny joke

    Boyfriend: “ILY.”
    Girlfriend: “Can you please say the words? It makes it better.”
    Boyfriend: “I’m leaving you.”

  • A Mirror That Killed

    Once There Was A Mirror That Killed Anyone Who Lied…
    French : I Think I Dont Smoke (Died).
    American : I Think I Love My Wife (Died).
    Santa: I Think.. (Died)

  • friend thinks

    My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that
    makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

  • fake noodle

    What do you call a fake noodle?
    An Impasta!

  • Doctor’s Appointment

    Chintu: Let’s Go For Movie.
    Mintu: Shit, I’ve Got A Doctor’s Appointment Today..
    Chintu: Just Cancel It,Tell Him You’re Sick.

    Doctor’s Appointment joke
    Doctor’s Appointment joke

  • computers eat

    Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
    A: Microchips!

  • bottles in one hand

    Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”
    Student: “A drinking problem.

  • Exaggerations

    Exaggerations have become an epidemic.
    They went up by a million percent last year.

  • bagel

    What kind of bagel can fly?
    A plain bagel.

  • go to the bathroom

    Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
    Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
    Little Johnny: But I asked first!

  • difference between a guitar

    Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
    A: You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.

  • cats bad storytellers

    Why are cats bad storytellers?
    Because they only have one tale.