dumb questions to ask a girl

What’s your worst gaffe ever?

Do you like man-boobs?

What is a funny story your family likes to tell about you?

What is your best “bad first date” story?

What was your most memorable birthday?

What happened at your middle school dance?

What was your funniest-looking haircut?

Would you give a dying snake mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?

Tell me the strangest name you could give your child?

Do you talk to imaginary people?

What has been your most ridiculous lie to skip work?

When did you find out Santa Claus was fake?

Who was your childhood celebrity crush?

Choose between two superpowers – to make things disappear or make food appear?

Can you walk with your head between your legs?

Do you still believe in the tooth fairy?

Can you lick your elbow?

Why is an uncle not an unctie?

Are false eyelashes made from horse’s hair?

What is the silliest fear you have?

If your family hears that you have been arrested, what offense would they assume you might have committed?

If you had to choose between purple and red as your skin tone, which would it be?

How will you scratch your back if your hands were tied?

Can you communicate through hand signals only for a whole day?

Would you scrape off your eyebrows and leave it bald?

Would you eat worms for $?

Can you eat while hanging upside down?

Who is your favorite cartoon character?

What funny joke would you tell God, if you see him?

If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

If you could control space and time, who would you choose to place under freeze forever?

What is an inside joke that makes you laugh but that nobody else understands?

What do you look like in your most embarrassing school picture?

Who would you choose to be stuck in an elevator with? A skunk or a friend with body odor?

If you had to live the rest of your life as a vegetable, would rather be lettuce or cabbage?

dumb questions to ask a boy

If your life was a movie, what songs would be on the soundtrack?

What scene from a TV show will you never forget?

What movie trope annoys you the most?

What game are / were you really good at?

If you were a DJ, what would your DJ name be?

Which movie do they need to a sequel to?

What would be the most ironic way that someone could die?

What reality TV show would you most like to see made?

What is the most unprofessional thing you’ve seen someone do?

If coffee was illegal, what would its street name be?

What TV catch phrase do you most enjoy using?

What terrible movie do you love?

What song do you have to sing along with when you hear it?

What golden age are we currently living through?

If you had to become an inanimate object for a year, what object would you choose to be?

If someone painted a portrait of you, how would it look (clothes, background, pose, etc) and what else would be in the painting with you?

You can have one secret video / audio feed from anywhere in the world Where do you put it?

The last thing you ate is now the only thing you can eat How soon do you die?

If you have a logo instead of a name, what would it look like?

You are about to get into a fight, what song comes on as your soundtrack?

dumb questions to ask a teacher

A -year-old student once asked me, ‘Wait, aren’t rhinos made of mud?’

Why did they name the galaxy after a candy bar?

Why is there so many words in this dictionary?

Is it true that mermaids evolved into dolphins?

Were cubes discovered in Cuba?

If my grandma is dead, am I still alive?

Are all of the guys at NASA named Houston?

I once projected a picture of the Earth onto the front white board. A student asked, ‘How do astronauts stand on a planet like that?’

At the college mid-term, I had a guy come up to me that I’d never seen in class. He proceeded to ask me what his grade was. I checked the sheet; he had never turned in a single piece of homework, no quizzes and had never attended a test. ‘What did you think you’d have? You’ve got a solid F.’

A student asked me, ‘How do islands not float away?’ I said: ‘Really big anchors.’ He wrote it down.

I was asked by a crying th grade student once if there was a second moon. We were outside for recess, and the moon was visible. I said, ‘Nope, why?’ And she pointed to the moon and asked, ‘But aren’t the sun and the moon the same thing?’ She was crying because the other kids were making fun of her for thinking the sun and the moon were the same thing. After I explained to her the sun did not turn into the moon at night and then back into the sun in the morning (she actually thought the moon was the sun ‘turned off’), I did an impromptu science lesson that afternoon with the whole class.

After a lengthy explanation of the effects of volcanic eruptions on human communities, I had a sixth grade student ask me why on earth people even make volcanic eruptions.

I’m a private writing instructor. A couple of years ago, I had a student ask me if commas were real or imaginary. He was equally dubious about semicolons, which he referred to as ‘imitation periods.’

My mom is a teacher’s assistant in a th grade class. A few weeks ago a girl asked, ‘Are bears still real?’

While I was student teaching, I had a student ask where Texas was on the map I was projecting on the screen. The map was of China.

I teach martial arts to little kid, and I had a kid ask me if he could punch his mom now.

Does chocolate milk come from a brown cow or a black and white cow?

dumb questions to ask a friend

hat are three things you could buy at a grocery store to make the cashier give you weird looks?

If you could replace all of the grass in the world with something else, what would it be and why?

If animals could talk, which species would be the rudest of them all?

If you could merge two different animals to create the ultimate animal, what two animals would it be and what would be their product?

Would you rather own a horse the size of a cat or a cat the size of a mouse?

If you were suddenly arrested for no reason and your face was flashed all over the news, what would your family and friends assume that you did?

If you were to appoint a president of the internet, who would it be and why?

If you were put in charge of creating a brand new global holiday, what would you name it and how would it be celebrated? What time of year would it be held?

You can make one of your body parts detachable without any negative repercussions. What body part would it be and why?

Your life is now a video game. What are some of the cheat codes you can use and what do they do?

How many chickens would it take to be able to kill a lion?

Brushing your teeth or wiping your butt – you have to give one up. Which one would it be and why?

The zombie apocalypse has begun! You have an SUV and a baseball bat. Where are you going first?

What’s the worst tag line you can think of for a brand that sells wart removal cream?

What outrageous conspiracy theory do you think might actually seem like a logical argument?

During the apocalypse, would it be better to live on your own or in a community?

A witch has cast a spell on you turning you into an inanimate, non-electronic object for a year. To be changed back into human form before the year is up, you need to be able to get at least a hundred people to touch you. What inanimate object would you be?

You’ve been tossed into an insane asylum. What do you tell the people there to prove to them that you don’t belong inside?

You found a time machine that took you back 600 years. All you have are the clothes on your back. How do you tell the people that you’re from the future?

What is the worst thing that a person can put on their bio on a dating app?

Would you rather have a disease that makes you say every thought that ever crosses your mind, or a disease that makes you react very inappropriately to all the interactions that happen to you and around you?

You’re now a superhero with an unlikely power. Is it the ability to shoot meatballs out of your nostrils, or the power to create force fields but only around ants?

If your pet could talk, what’s one thing they could say that would completely ruin your image?

What’s something that doesn’t really smell great, but you keep wanting to smell it anyway?

You’re now the president, but you can only make changes that improve the lives of cats in your jurisdiction. What three things would you change to support the felines in your community?

You’ve just won an all-expense paid trip to anywhere in the world, but you can only go if you take three of the people you dislike the most with you. Who are they and where are you going?

If you had three extra siblings, what would be your birth order and what personalities would you like them to have?

You’ve been alone on a desert island for nearly a decade and you’re finally brought back to civilization. You’re handed the keys to the presidential suite in a 5-star hotel. What do you do first – use the bathroom or sleep in the king-sized bed?

You’re homeless and only have one choice of clothing – a tattered, oversized white shirt with very thin fabric and lots of holes, or an extremely tight flesh-colored set of underwear. What’ll it be?

You are now banned from the local library. What would be the reason for it?

If you could change your name at this very moment, but it couldn’t contain any of the odd numbered letters in the alphabet, what name would you choose?

If you could change what falls from the sky every time it rains, what would it be and why? Note: it can’t be anything of significant value.

dumb questions to ask a person

In years, what will people be nostalgic for?

What are the unwritten rules of where you work?

How do you feel about putting pineapple on pizza?

What part of a kid’s movie completely scarred you?

What kind of secret society would you like to start?

If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?

What is the sexiest and least sexy name?

What secret conspiracy would you like to start?

What’s invisible but you wish people could see?

Toilet paper, over or under?

What’s the weirdest smell you have ever smelled?

Is a hotdog a sandwich? Why or why not?

What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen?

What’s the most ridiculous fact you know?

What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?

What is the funniest joke you know by heart?

What’s the best type of cheese?

Where is the strangest place you’ve urinated or defecated?