short funny sexes quotes 2024
Certainly, here are some funny gender-related quotes without author names:
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s. She changes it more often.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake an entire relationship.
Women: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Men: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. It’s an equal opportunity conundrum.
Why do women live longer than men? Because they aren’t married to women.
Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable.
Women are like teabags. You don’t know how strong they are until you put them in hot water.
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
Men are like parking spots. The good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, it explains a lot about the lack of parking in the universe.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest with a sharp knife.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Why do men like big boobs? Because they can’t read small print.
Women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button, you’ll be disconnected.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
Men are like mascara; they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Women are like Wi-Fi: they see all available devices but connect to the one with the strongest signal.
Behind every great woman, there is a man checking out her assets.
Men are like a deck of cards. You need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to bash their heads in, and a spade to bury the bodies.
Men are like snowstorms: you never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long he’ll last.
Women spend more time thinking about what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
If men got pregnant, there would be safe, reliable methods of birth control that work 100% of the time.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.
A man’s idea of serious commitment is usually, ‘Oh all right, I’ll stay the night.’
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
better with age funny sexes quotes 2024
Women are like fine wine. They get better with age. The best ones are full-bodied, and they definitely improve with time.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
When a woman says, ‘What?’ it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.
The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’
Love is grand; divorce is at least 10 grand.
If you want to make a man happy, add a woman to his life. If you want to make a woman happy, subtract a man from her life.
Some women choose to follow men, and some choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you it doesn’t love you anymore.
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
Why did God create man first? Because he needed a rough draft before creating the masterpiece.
Men are like Bluetooth: they connect to your phone when you’re nearby but search for other devices when you’re not.
Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.
Women are like stars. There may be millions of them, but only one can make your dreams come true.
Men are like pillows. You can’t always have the one you want, but you can always have one to rest your head on.
A man’s age is something impressive, it sums up his life: maturity reached slowly and without violence, a sort of long premeditation. It is a surprise for a woman to discover she has reached maturity at a single stroke. She grew old while she was still young.
Men are like animals, messy, insensitive, and potentially violent, but they make great pets.
Women are like tea bags; you never know how strong they are until they get in hot water.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change them more often.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars. We’d have a bunch of countries not talking to each other.
Men are like snowflakes. You never know how many you’re going to get or how long they’ll last.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
night funny sexes quotes 2024
If women can do it better, then why do we need men?
Men are like coffee; the best ones are rich, hot, and keep you awake all night.
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
Why do men like to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Women are like computer viruses: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems, and delete your smile.
Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes.
The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
Why did the woman put her purse in the blender? Because she wanted to make liquid assets.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Why do men like to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.
Men are like shoes. They come in all shapes, sizes, and styles. And eventually, you’ll find that one pair that fits just right.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
A man is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Why don’t women need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why did the woman put her money in the blender? Because she wanted to make liquid assets.
Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s women’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.
shop funny sexes quotes 2024
Why do men like to watch sports on TV? Because they don’t have to shop while they’re watching.
Women are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Men are like roses: watch out for the pricks.
Women are like hurricanes: when they come, they’re wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house and car.
Why do men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change them more often.
If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars. We’d have a bunch of countries not talking to each other.
Men are like coffee; the best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you awake all night.
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
Why do men like to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Women are like computer viruses: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems, and delete your smile.
Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes.
The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
Why did the woman put her purse in the blender? Because she wanted to make liquid assets.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.
A man’s idea of serious commitment is usually, ‘Oh all right, I’ll stay the night.’
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake an entire relationship.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.
The only time to be positive that a woman is satisfied with your gift is when she smiles as she turns to wrap it.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
married funny sexes quotes 2024
Why do women live longer than men? Because they aren’t married to women.
If you want to make a man happy, add a woman to his life. If you want to make a woman happy, subtract a man from her life.
Some women choose to follow men, and some choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you it doesn’t love you anymore.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.
The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’
Love is grand; divorce is at least 10 grand.
If women can do it better, then why do we need men?
Men are like shoes. They come in all shapes, sizes, and styles. And eventually, you’ll find that one pair that fits just right.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
A man is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Why don’t women need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why did the woman put her money in the blender? Because she wanted to make liquid assets.
Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s women’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.
Why do men like to watch sports on TV? Because they don’t have to shop while they’re watching.
Women are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Men are like roses: watch out for the pricks.
Women are like hurricanes: when they come, they’re wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house and car.
Why do men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change them more often.
If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars. We’d have a bunch of countries not talking to each other.
Men are like coffee; the best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you awake all night.
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
Why do men like to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Women are like computer viruses: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems, and delete your smile.
Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes.
The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
Why did the woman put her purse in the blender? Because she wanted to make liquid assets.
Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s women’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.
Why do men like to watch sports on TV? Because they don’t have to shop while they’re watching.
Women are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Men are like roses: watch out for the pricks.
hurricanes funny sexes quotes 2024
Women are like hurricanes: when they come, they’re wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house and car.
Why do men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change them more often.
If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars. We’d have a bunch of countries not talking to each other.
Men are like coffee; the best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you awake all night.
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
Why do men like to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Women are like computer viruses: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems, and delete your smile.
Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes.
The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
Why did the woman put her purse in the blender? Because she wanted to make liquid assets.
Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s women’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.
Why do men like to watch sports on TV? Because they don’t have to shop while they’re watching.
Women are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Men are like roses: watch out for the pricks.
Women are like hurricanes: when they come, they’re wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house and car.
Why do men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change them more often.
If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars. We’d have a bunch of countries not talking to each other.
Men are like coffee; the best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you awake all night.
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
Why do men like to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Women are like computer viruses: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems, and delete your smile.
Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes.
The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
Why did the woman put her purse in the blender? Because she wanted to make liquid assets.
Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s women’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.
sports funny sexes quotes 2024
Why do men like to watch sports on TV? Because they don’t have to shop while they’re watching.
Women are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Men are like roses: watch out for the pricks.
Women are like hurricanes: when they come, they’re wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house and car.
Why do men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
