short funny golf quotes 2024

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

The difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer screams ‘Fore!’ and a skydiver yells ‘Geronimo!’

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well.

Swing hard in case you hit it.

Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

Why do they call it golf? Because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Golf is like a love affair. If you don’t take it seriously, it’s no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.

Golf is a game of inches – the most important are the six inches between your ears.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I’ve played the game for 40 years, and I still haven’t the slightest idea how to play.

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

The difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer doesn’t mind if he loses his balls.

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: It’s called an eraser.

The most important shot in golf is the next one.

Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer.

Golf is a sport where you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill-adapted for the purpose.

Why is it taking me 18 shots to get this in the hole when I could be at home eating nachos?

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well.

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: It’s called an eraser.

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: It’s called an eraser.

Golf is a game of skill, luck, and frustration. The first two I can handle; the third makes me want to break clubs.

They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.

The worst day of golf still beats the best day of work.

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well.

Golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age and retain the playthings of childhood.

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flagstick on top.

Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

Golf is a sport where participants shout ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

The most important shot in golf is the one you take after you shout ‘fore!’

Golf is the only game where the most feared opponent is you.

Why did the golfer bring extra pants? In case he got a hole in one.

Golf is the best therapy a person can have!

fewest funny golf quotes 2024

Golf is a game where you aim for the fewest strokes and sometimes end up taking the most.

Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are in front of you and the fastest are behind.

The only time my golf swing is at its best is when I’m on my recliner watching the Golf Channel.

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly, and the player always lies well.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

My golf swing is like a suitcase into which I try to pack too much.

Golf is the only sport where you can watch your opponent and smile while doing it.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

The only thing I’m thinking about on this golf course is getting to the 19th hole.

Golf is a game in which you can’t improve your swing and your score at the same time.

Golf is a game where you can’t win, but you can have fun trying.

Why don’t golfers ever get mad? Because they always stay out of the clubs.

The only thing I throwback on Thursdays is my golf swing.

Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course—the distance between your ears.

Golf is a game that is played with the most precision on the least forgiving surface.

The best way to make a small fortune in golf is to start with a large one.

Golf is the only game where the spectators often complain about the unfairness of the course.

I don’t need anger management; I need people to stop making me play golf.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.

Golf is a game that’s played on a five-inch course — the distance between your ears.

My golf swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then end up in the hole.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly, and the player always lies well.

Golf is the only sport where you can watch your opponent and smile while doing it.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

Why don’t golfers ever get mad? Because they always stay out of the clubs.

Golf is a game in which you can’t win, but you can have fun trying.

Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then end up in the hole.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

The best way to make a small fortune in golf is to start with a large one.

Golf is a game that’s played on a five-inch course — the distance between your ears.

My golf swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.

pants funny golf quotes 2024

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly, and the player always lies well.

Golf is the only sport where you can watch your opponent and smile while doing it.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

Why don’t golfers ever get mad? Because they always stay out of the clubs.

Golf is a game in which you can’t win, but you can have fun trying.

Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then end up in the hole.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

The best way to make a small fortune in golf is to start with a large one.

Golf is a game that’s played on a five-inch course — the distance between your ears.

My golf swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly, and the player always lies well.

Golf is the only sport where you can watch your opponent and smile while doing it.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.