1000+ Funny Jokes 2025
Find the best jokes for your social media posts. Whether you're looking for funny, witty, or creative jokes, explore a variety of jokes for Instagram, Facebook, and more. Perfect for sharing some humor!
Three brothers
Three brothers are traveling along a road, and their car dies. They all get out of the car, and start walking to a barn that's a little ways away. When they get their, the farmer comes out of the barn, and offers them a room for one night. He says to the first one, "You can sleep with the pigs," the second guy," you can sleep with the cows", and the third guy, "I like the cut of your jib. You can sleep with my 18 daughters." The next morning, he asks everyone how they slept. The first man said, "I slept like a pig." The second man said ,"I slept like a cow." The third guy said, "I slept like a rabbit. I jumped from hole, to hole, to hole."
dirty jokes
had a dream
I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea
dad jokes
lady goes to the doctor
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."
dirty jokes
One day a blonde
One day a blonde went into the library and asked the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The librarian replied, "This is the library." Then blonde whispered, "Oh. Can I have a burger and fries?"
blonde jokes
going on ahead
What did one hat say to the other?" "Stay here! I'm going on ahead
dad jokes
After picking her son
After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."
dirty jokes
blondes fell down
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
english jokes
A wealthy man
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a postcard, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife handed the card over and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."
dirty jokes
confuse a blonde
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.
english jokes
Santa will send
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish." Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
dirty jokes
babies may be delivered
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
pun jokes
confuse a blonde
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.
blonde jokes
A guy believed
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee.
short jokes
crazy dream last night
I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
pun jokes
walks into a shoe
A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the salesclerk. "Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," offers the clerk. “Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the blonde replies.
blonde jokes
put my shoes
Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me
dad jokes
during sex
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
dirty jokes
thief hire
Why did the thief hire a maid to plan his vacation? He wanted a clean getaway.
pun jokes
A blonde is wearing
A blonde is wearing a pair of socks that don't match, one is red and the other is white. Her friend sees her out and says, "You know your socks don't match, right? You're wearing one red sock and one white sock." The blonde responds, "That's so weird! I have another pair just like it in my drawer at home."
blonde jokes
mother's womb
Three babies are in their mother's womb. One of them says, "I want to be an artist so everyone knows what it looks like in here." The next one says, "I want to be a swimmer because I get so much practice in here." The last baby says, "I'm going to be a hunter because if that snake comes in here and pokes me again, I'm going to chop that thing in half!"
dirty jokes
A couple is trying
A couple is trying to have a baby. Finally, the blonde tells her husband, "Honey, I have great news! We're pregnant, and we're having twins!" The husband is overjoyed and says to his wife, "Honey that's wonderful, but how do you know so soon that we're having twins?" She nods her head and says, "Well, I bought the twin pack pregnancy test and they both came out positive!"
blonde jokes
Ford didn't invent
I'm happy Ford didn't invent the airplane. It wouldn't have been Wright.
pun jokes
camouflage pants
I wanted to buy camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.
pun jokes
walked through the forest
Banta walked through the forest when he heard someone crying for help. He found a dwarf, stuck in a trap. He freed the dwarf, and the dwarf granted him two wishes. "My first wish," Banta said, "is a bottle of whiskey that will never fall empty." And flash, there was the bottle. Banta opened it, and drank it empty. The next moment, the bottle was full again. Banta was very happy. "What is your second wish," the dwarf asked? Banta replied, "I want another bottle..."😜 😝 😛
english jokes
Two buddies were sharing
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one. "Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it." "Oh, I see, kinky, huh?" "Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."
dirty jokes
blonde tip
Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!!
blonde jokes
grow up
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems
dad jokes
fresh prints
How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?" "You follow the fresh prints
dad jokes
rabbits making love
Why can't you hear rabbits making love? Because they have cotton balls.
dirty jokes
scarecrow win
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field
dad jokes
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