1000+ Funny Jokes 2025 latest
Looking for the best funny jokes to brighten your day? Discover our 1000+ Funny Jokes 2025 collection, featuring the latest, most hilarious jokes that will leave you laughing out loud. Whether you love short jokes, one-liners, or silly puns, we’ve got you covered with fresh, shareable content. Perfect for WhatsApp, Instagram captions, and making your friends smile!
Funny Joke images 2025 latest || lws jokes
Looking for the funniest joke images of 2025? Get ready to laugh out loud with our latest collection of hilarious memes, funny pictures, and viral joke images. Whether you love witty one-liners, relatable humor, or goofy cartoons, we have something for everyone!
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diarrhea
A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom that he needs Viagra. The mom asks, "Why on Earth do you need that?!" The little boy says, "Isn't that what you give daddy when his sh*t doesn't get hard?"
dirty jokes
mirror that killed anyone
Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied... French : I think I dont smoke (died). American : I think I love my wife (died). Santa: I think.. (died) 😋😋😋😁
english jokes
So I asked a blonde
So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?" She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.
blonde jokes
confuse a blonde
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.
blonde jokes
accidentally swallowed
Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
pun jokes
A young woman
A young woman asked her mom if she could go out for some fries and eat them with friends for 2 hours. Her mom said, "Sure." However, the daughter went to her boyfriends and had sex with him for 2 hours. When she came back home, her mom asked her how the fries were. The daughter replied, "Nice!" The mom said, "I can tell you enjoyed them; there's still mayonnaise dripping from your face."
dirty jokes
the newscaster
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!" Confused, he replies, "Yes Dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved." After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"
english jokes
hanging onto a rope
There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
english jokes
making Russian tea
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.
english jokes
asked my dog
I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.
dad jokes
corduroy pillows
Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They're making headlines
dad jokes
get arrested
Three people get arrested and are taken into holding for questioning. The officer talks to the first girl, asking, "What's your name?" She says, "Yo." The officer asks, "What are you in for?" She responds with, "Blowing bubbles." The officer takes her picture and lets her go. He asks the second girl, "What's your name?" She responds with, "Yo Yo." The officer asks, "What are you in for?" She responds with, "Blowing bubbles." The officer takes her picture and lets her go. He talks to the guy and says, "Let me guess, your name is Yo Yo Yo." The guy replies with, "No, it's Bubbles."
dirty jokes
Iranian who locked
Did you hear about the Iranian who locked himself out of his car? It took three hours to get his family out of it.
short jokes
put the cat out
Dad, can you put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was on fire
dad jokes
Santa returns
Santa returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father, 'Dad, today we had a spelling class. All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am a Sardar?' 'No son, that's because you are intelligent.' Santa seemed content with the answer, asks his father another question, 'Dad, today we had Maths class. All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am a Sardar ?' 'No son, that's because you are intelligent,' replies his father. Happy with the answer, Santa poses another question to his father, 'Dad, today we had medical examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am a Sardar ?' The father replies, 'No son, that's because you are 33 years old.'
english jokes
I love math
I love math. And then sum.
pun jokes
What does a lemon say
What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?" "Yellow!
dad jokes
who invented zero
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
pun jokes
A cheeseburger
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here
dad jokes
claped together
Pedro lives in an orphanage. One day Pedro is heading towards town with his hands claped together, when the padre who runs this orphanage asks Pedro, "What do you have in your hands and where are you going?" Pedro replies, "Father, I have horseflies and I am going to town to get horses." Sure enough later Pedro comes back with two beautiful Arabians. Next day Pedro walks past the priest again with the same question, "Pedro, what do you have in your hand and where are you going?" Pedro replies once again, "Father I have butter and I am going to town to get butterflies." Sure enough Pedro returns with beautiful monarch butterflies. The very next day Pedro is headed towards town once again when the Priest asks the same question, "Pedro what do you have in your hands and where are you going?" Again Pedro replies, "Father I have Pussy willows-" "Wait, Pedro!" says the Priest, "I'll go with you!!"
dirty jokes
expensive car
My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends
pun jokes
man gets
A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you." The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. "Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise. "Ha, ha!" he says, "I'm the man from the bus!" "Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume, "I'm the bus driver!"
dirty jokes
A black boy joke
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
short jokes
Kleenex dance
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
dad jokes
banana split
Where do you learn to make a banana split?" "Sundae school
dad jokes
blondes walk
Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would've seen it.....
blonde jokes
A science teacher
A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."
blonde jokes
good at sleeping
"I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!
dad jokes
smells like worms
What is transparent and smells like worms? - A bird's fart :-)
stupid jokes
white people running down
Q: What do you call white people running down a hill? A: An avalanche. Q: What do you call Mexicans running down a hill? A: A mudslide. Q: What do you call black people running down a hill? A: A jail break.
short jokes
Keep the tip
What did the leper say to the sex worker? Keep the tip.
dirty jokes
Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. Jack got a shock, with a mouth full of cock, to find out Jill's real name was Randy.
dirty jokes
like a snowstorm
A man is like a snowstorm. You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.
dirty jokes
be a doctor
I want to be a doctor, but I don't have enough patience.
pun jokes
After picking her son
After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."
dirty jokes
friend of mine
A Christian friend of mine said that sex between two men is wrong in their eyes. I said, ‘You’re right, it’s supposed to be up the bum
dirty jokes
most effective way
One sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears. Personally, I think it’s b***ocks
dirty jokes
cross a Puerto
Q:What do you have when you cross a Puerto Rican and a Pollack? A: A graffiti artist who spray paints on chain linked fences.
short jokes
A construction worker
A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, "I," then at his knee, meaning, "need," and he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, "handsaw." The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate. The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, ''What the hell is wrong with you!? Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!'' The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, ''I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming.''
dirty jokes
nasty divorce
Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," said the judge. Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"
dirty jokes
hate facial hair
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
pun jokes
contracts
A man goes to a $10 sex worker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the sex worker laughs and says, "What do you expect for ten dollars? Lobster?"
dirty jokes
Making mirrors
Making mirrors is a job I can really see myself doing.
pun jokes
Three blondes walk
Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would've seen it.....
blonde jokes
seafood diet
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it
dad jokes
iPad in a blender
Why did the blonde put her iPad in a blender? Because she wanted to make apple juice.
blonde jokes
kangaroo jump higher
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? - Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
english jokes
first day at school
Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?
english jokes
kill a blonde
How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom of a pool.
blonde jokes
you trust stairs
Why shouldn't you trust stairs? They're always up to something.
pun jokes
redhead are running
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They run into an old barn and hide in potato sacks. The officer chasing them walks into the barn looking for them. He kicks the first sack with the redhead inside and the redhead says, "Woof woof!" The cop thinks it's a dog, so he walks to the next one. He kicks the second bag with the brunette, and she says, "Meow meow!" The cop believes it's a cat and moves on. He kicks the third bag with the blonde, and the blonde yells, "Potato potato!"
blonde jokes
construction
I've got a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it
dad jokes
Little Johnny's classmate
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
dirty jokes
I would like to use
Mr. Smith: “Doctor, you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed me yesterday?” Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?” Mr. Smith: “I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!”
english jokes
Ford didn't invent
I'm happy Ford didn't invent the airplane. It wouldn't have been Wright.
pun jokes
little boy caught
A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex. After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?" The mom said, "We were baking a cake." A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake?" She said yes, and asked him how he knew. He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch
dirty jokes
incredible Sulk
What is green and sits crying in the corner? The incredible Sulk.
stupid jokes
garbage truck
A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
dirty jokes
child birth
From what I understand about child birth, it changes you ‘downstairs’. I like my downstairs the way it is thank you very much. I certainly don’t need an extension
dirty jokes
Forrest Gump’s
What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1
pun jokes
You know how it is in life
You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…” “Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a serious discount on that car!”
english jokes
call an Indian
What do you call an Indian man which is on fire? Ima Singin.
short jokes
elderly couple
There’s an elderly couple who has reached that point in life, where sex isn’t part of the itinerary anymore. One night, the wife turns to her husband and says, “Everytime one of us wants to have a bit of a slap and tickle, we just have to say, "Washing machine.’” A night passes, and the husband leans over and whispers, “Washing machine.” The wife gives him a shove and informs him that she has a headache. A few nights go by and the same thing happens, but the husband is determined and he reckons he’ll just give it one more try. He leans over and whispers seductively, “Washing machine.” Yet again, the wife turns him away. However, a few moments pass and the wife’s needs arises so she rolls over and recites the word, but the husband turns over and says, “Sorry love, it was only a small wash so I did it by hand.”
dirty jokes
A blonde wanting
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
blonde jokes
panties with flowers
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
dirty jokes
On hearing
On hearing that her elderly grandfather has just passed away, Katie goes straight to her grandparents' house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asks how her grandfather has died, her grandmother replies, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie tells her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex will surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear. Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. It was nice, slow, and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the dong." She pauses, wipes away a tear and then continues, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
dirty jokes
blonde to laugh
Q: How can you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
blonde jokes
hotel lobby turns
A man in a hotel lobby turns to go to the front desk, but he accidentally runs into a woman beside him and his elbow bumps into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
dirty jokes
go for movie
Santa: Let's go for movie. Banta: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today.. Santa: Just cancel it,Tell him you're sick 😋😋😋😁
english jokes
3 people on the boat
There are 3 people on the boat which is sinking. 1 American guy, 1 Asian guy, and 1 Mexican guy. The Asian guy said "I have to many of these" so he threw the rice out. The Mexican guy said "I have to many of these" so he threw out the tacos out. The American said "I have to many of these" so he threw the Mexican guy out.
short jokes
I want to be cremated
I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
pun jokes
My whole body
Brunette: "Where were you born?" Blonde: "The United States." Brunette: "Which part?" Blonde: "My whole body."
blonde jokes
invented King Arthur's
Who invented King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference.
pun jokes
Why was six nervous
Why was six nervous? Because seven eight nine.
pun jokes
Can February
Can February March? No, but April May.
pun jokes
I’m just so nervous
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation. - Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.
english jokes
most common word used
Teacher asked the students to tell the most common word used by students in a classroom. Suddenly a student got up and said “Can’t Sir”! Brilliant! You are right, the teacher said!
english jokes
skeleton walks
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop
dad jokes
blonde try to kill
How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.
blonde jokes
cunnilingus
When I was 11, my mum gave me a lecture about cunnilingus. I look back as an adult and I think, ‘Oh, she obviously wanted to empower me to find my own pleasure.’ It had the exact opposite effect – there is no way you can enjoy yourself with a man between your legs if you’re thinking, ‘Hmm, Mum’d be proud
dirty jokes
crime at an Apple Store
If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness
dad jokes
crazy dream last night
I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
pun jokes
wondering why the ball
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
pun jokes
how many times
Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave? Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day. Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy? Man: No, I’m a barber.
stupid jokes
laugh on Saturday
Q: How can you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
blonde jokes
kind of shady
I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady
dad jokes
A robber comes
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
blonde jokes
teenager
As a teenager I was confused that there was lots of different words for ‘sex’. I thought each of the words for ‘sex’ meant something distinct. I thought there were many more different kinds of sex things that I was going to have to get my head around before I became an adult. But then I realised that most of them referred to the same sort of basic penis penetration stuff. And that’s how I came to understand the richness of the English language
dirty jokes
funny and beautiful
“You are so kind, funny and beautiful.” “Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed.” “And smart, too!”
english jokes
an extra pair
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one
dad jokes
A penguin takes
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
dirty jokes
walks into a shoe
A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the salesclerk. "Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," offers the clerk. “Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the blonde replies.
blonde jokes
shrinking my clothes
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along
dad jokes
Mexicans playing
What do u call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan-on-Juan.
short jokes
a farmer near a field
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”
english jokes
English teacher
I’m going out with an English teacher, which is a bit awkward because she keeps correcting my grammar during sex. She’s particularly annoyed at my improper use of the colon
dirty jokes
famous person
You should only have sex with a famous person if you really, really genuinely want to tell people about it afterwards
dirty jokes
a brunette
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
blonde jokes
ordinary blowjob
Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? A: "Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."
dirty jokes
A blonde woman decides
A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats."
blonde jokes
a soda machine
A blonde goes to a soda machine. She puts in a dollar and gets a soda. She does this again and again. A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long. She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
blonde jokes
white owl and a black owl
Q:what's the difference between a white owl and a black owl. A:a white owl goes who who. a black owl goes who dat who dat.
short jokes
An old couple
An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, ''Why are you going to sleep on the floor?'' The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."
dirty jokes
poor Santa Claus
What do you call a poor Santa Claus?" "St. Nickel-less
dad jokes
I couldn’t build
My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
pun jokes
money issues
A wife and husband are having money issues. One day they decide to have the wife work the corner. Later that night the husband goes to pick the wife up. He asks, "How much did you make, sweetie?" She answers, "I made $200.50." The husband says, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?" She replies, "All of them."
dirty jokes
The blonde’s eyes widen
A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk, “Where do you keep the curtains for computers?” The clerk answers with a puzzled face, “Curtains for computers? You don’t need curtains for computers.” The blonde’s eyes widen and she shakes her head as she answers, “Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!”
blonde jokes
egg drive
What kind of car does an egg drive?" "A yolkswagen
dad jokes
sell curtains
Santa enters a shop that sell curtains. He announces to Gurdaya, the salesman, 'I would like to buy a pair of green curtains.' The salesman assures him that they had a large selection of green curtains. Gurdaya shows him several patterns, but Santa seems to be having a hard time choosing. Finally, he selects a smashing green floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains he requires.
english jokes
pampered cow
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk
dad jokes
A guy was driving
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."
blonde jokes
a mouthful
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
dirty jokes
A married man
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
dirty jokes
kind of bees
Q: What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? A: Boo-bees
dirty jokes
bloody perfect
If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time
dirty jokes