1000+ Funny English Jokes 2025 | Best Latest Jokes
Looking for the best funny English jokes to brighten your day? Discover our 1000+ Funny English Jokes 2025 collection, featuring the latest, most hilarious jokes that will leave you laughing out loud. Whether you love short jokes, one-liners, or silly puns, we’ve got you covered with fresh, shareable content. Perfect for WhatsApp, Instagram captions, and making your friends smile!
Funny English Joke images 2025 latest || lws jokes
Looking for the funniest joke images of 2025? Get ready to laugh out loud with our latest collection of hilarious memes, funny pictures, and viral joke images. Whether you love witty one-liners, relatable humor, or goofy cartoons, we have something for everyone!
In today’s digital world, laughter is just a click away! Funny joke images are a great way to brighten your day and share joy with friends and family. Our 2025 collection features trending memes, witty captions, and creative illustrations that will leave you in splits. Whether it's a hilarious take on everyday life, work-from-home struggles, relationship humor, or just silly puns, our latest images will keep you entertained.
Why Are Joke Images So Popular?
In today’s fast-paced world, laughter is the best stress-buster. Funny images, memes, and joke illustrations spread joy instantly, making them perfect for sharing on social media or with loved ones. Our 2025 joke image collection includes:
- Work-from-home struggles – Because Zoom meetings are never as productive as they seem! 😆
- Relationship humor – The everyday battles of couples, perfectly captured in hilarious memes.
- Tech & social media jokes – From AI fails to viral trends, we bring the funniest takes on digital life.
- Silly puns & dad jokes – Because sometimes, the cheesiest jokes are the funniest! 🧀
- Relatable daily life humor – Whether it’s Monday blues, shopping fails, or diet struggles, we’ve got you covered.
What Makes Our 2025 Joke Images Special?
- High-quality, creative designs – Our joke images aren’t just funny; they’re visually appealing and share-worthy.
- Fresh & updated content – We keep up with the latest internet trends to bring you new and trending memes.
- Perfect for social sharing – Whether you want to post on WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, our joke images are perfect for every platform.
- A laugh for everyone – From witty intellectual humor to lighthearted fun, our collection caters to all age groups and tastes.
Get Your Daily Dose of Laughter! 🤣
Laughter is contagious, and our funny joke images are here to keep you smiling all year long. Bookmark this page and check back for fresh updates. Share with your friends and spread the joy! 🎉
IDK stand 🤣 Latest english jokes
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
blonde jokes
Can February March 🤣 Latest english jokes
Can February March? No, but April May
pun jokes
a soda machine 🤣 Latest english jokes
A blonde goes to a soda machine. She puts in a dollar and gets a soda. She does this again and again. A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long. She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
blonde jokes
Santa is in Delhi 🤣 Latest english jokes
Santa is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Santa says agrees. 'Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder.' The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Santa figures he has been made a fool by that man. On the next day Santa is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. 'Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder.' Santa gives him another thousand and says, 'Oye, I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder.'
santa banta jokes in english
dog used to chase people 🤣 Latest english jokes
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away
english jokes
cheap gifts 🤣 Latest english jokes
Man: I could go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there? Man: I offer you myself. Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts. Man: I want to share everything with you. Woman: Let's start from your bank account.
english jokes
blonde jokes so short 🤣 Latest english jokes
Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them.
blonde jokes
Do not be racist joke 🤣 Latest english jokes
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
short jokes
My wife suffers 🤣 Latest english jokes
“My wife suffers from a drinking problem.” - “Oh is she an alcoholic?” - “No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”
english jokes
husband came home an hour late 🤣 Latest english jokes
Q: What did the cannibal’s wife do when her husband came home an hour late for dinner? A: She gave him the cold shoulder. 😋😋
english jokes
ordinary blowjob 🤣 Latest english jokes
Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? A: "Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."
dirty jokes
a black man joke 🤣 Latest english jokes
There is a black man, a white man, and a Mexican man on a plane that is too heavy to fly and they are about to crash. They each have to throw something off the plane to save them from crashing. The black man throws out his Jordan shoes and says, "We have too many in our country.” The Mexican tosses out his lawn mower and says, "We have too many in our country.” The white man puts his item down, grabs the Mexican, throws him out the window and says, "We have too many in our country.
short jokes
just finishing my make-up 🤣 Latest english jokes
Wait for me honey, I’m just finishing my make-up. You don’t need make-up, Jane. Oh, Richard…. really? That is so sweet of you! You need plastic surgery. 😂😂😋😋
english jokes
IDK Blonde 🤣 Latest english jokes
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!
blonde jokes
lost my mood 🤣 Latest english jokes
I lost my mood ring and I don't know how to feel about it!
pun jokes
Scientists 🤣 Latest english jokes
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
dirty jokes
naked woman 🤣 Latest english jokes
A statue of a naked woman and a naked man stand in a park at night. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a magical genie arrives and grants the statues each one wish to be fulfilled. Both the female and male statues agree on 15 minutes as a real man and woman in the bushes behind them to "get things done." The genie gives a knowing grin and grants the wish. The man and woman immediately jump behind the bushes and screaming sounds and laughter can be heard from their activities. 12 minutes later they return to the front of the bush again claiming they are finished. "Well now, that was kinda quick!" the genie says. "You can do it a second time for the remaining 3 minutes if you want," the genie tells them, winking his eye. Both the female and male look at each other and smile. The man says to the woman, "Okay great, but this time you get to hold the pigeon so I can shit on him!"
dirty jokes
call a Mexican basketball 🤣 Latest english jokes
What do you call a Mexican basketball player? Mexi-cant.
short jokes
have soft sex 🤣 Latest english jokes
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
dirty jokes
doctor's office 🤣 Latest english jokes
A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
blonde jokes
old aunts 🤣 Latest english jokes
My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?” - We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals. 😁😁😁
english jokes
compromise with your wife 🤣 Latest english jokes
Man: How did you compromise with your wife? Husband: She came to me on her feet. Man: and what she said? Husband: i was down to bad and she said come out, i will not say you anything...
english jokes
Tarzan and Jane 🤣 Latest english jokes
If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be? A fur coat.
short jokes
nasty divorce 🤣 Latest english jokes
Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," said the judge. Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"
dirty jokes
doctor complaining 🤣 Latest english jokes
A man goes to his doctor complaining about migraines. His doctor tells him, "I also suffer from the same ailment. Every time I get one, I give my wife oral sex. When she has an orgasm, she tightens her legs around my head which gets rid of the pain. You should try it sometime." Two weeks later on a return visit, the patient tells his doctor, "Your suggestion worked and I'd like to tell you that you have a very nice house."
dirty jokes
prostitute 🤣 Latest english jokes
Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, "Heck. My wife is better than that." The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, "You know? Your wife IS better."
dirty jokes
paedophilia 🤣 Latest english jokes
The thing I don’t get about paedophilia… Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
dirty jokes
I get this intense 🤣 Latest english jokes
Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye. - Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.
english jokes
difference between your penis 🤣 Latest english jokes
What's the difference between your penis and a bonus check? Someone's always willing to blow your bonus.
dirty jokes
wrote a song 🤣 Latest english jokes
I wrote a song about burritos. It's a rap.
pun jokes
sweet potatoes wear 🤣 Latest english jokes
What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies.
pun jokes
more letters 🤣 Latest english jokes
What has more letters than the alphabet?" "The post office!
dad jokes
had a dream 🤣 Latest english jokes
I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea
dad jokes
the egg say 🤣 Latest english jokes
What did the egg say after he was put in a pot of boiling water? I just got laid by a chick and now I'm getting hard.
dirty jokes
hate facial hair 🤣 Latest english jokes
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
pun jokes
On hearing 🤣 Latest english jokes
On hearing that her elderly grandfather has just passed away, Katie goes straight to her grandparents' house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asks how her grandfather has died, her grandmother replies, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie tells her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex will surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear. Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. It was nice, slow, and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the dong." She pauses, wipes away a tear and then continues, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
dirty jokes
women need 🤣 Latest english jokes
Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you
dirty jokes
Don't call me 🤣 Latest english jokes
I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad!
dad jokes
A gynecologist notices 🤣 Latest english jokes
A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says no. The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs. The doctor says, "What's so funny?" She says, "I'm imagining how they make condoms."
dirty jokes
After picking her son 🤣 Latest english jokes
After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."
dirty jokes
black men get killed 🤣 Latest english jokes
Why did so many black men get killed in Vietnam? When the generals would yell, "Get down!" they would all start dancing.
short jokes
call a Caucasian 🤣 Latest english jokes
Q: What do you call a Caucasian person who swims across the border into Mexico? A: A white back.
short jokes
A blonde woman decides 🤣 Latest english jokes
A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats."
blonde jokes
Before Marriage 🤣 Latest english jokes
Before Marriage - - - Boyfriend: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girlfriend: Do you want me to leave? Boyfriend: NO! Don't even think about it. Girlfriend: Do you love me? Boyfriend: Of course! Over and over! Girlfriend: Have you ever cheated on me? Boyfriend: NO! Why are you even asking? Girlfriend: Will you kiss me? Boyfriend: Every chance I get! Girlfriend: Will you hit me? Boyfriend: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person! Girlfriend: Can I trust you? Boyfriend: Yes. Girlfriend: Darling! After marriage - simply read from bottom to top.
english jokes
real hair color 🤣 Latest english jokes
a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road. "Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?" The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!" He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep. "I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!" "Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
blonde jokes
a brunette 🤣 Latest english jokes
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
english jokes
a mouthful 🤣 Latest english jokes
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
dirty jokes
young rooster 🤣 Latest english jokes
A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & fucks all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the rooster fucking the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. The farmer says, "You horny bastard, you deserve this." The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, "Shh! Don't shout, let them land!"
dirty jokes
a Chinese girl joke 🤣 Latest english jokes
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629.
short jokes
money issues 🤣 Latest english jokes
A wife and husband are having money issues. One day they decide to have the wife work the corner. Later that night the husband goes to pick the wife up. He asks, "How much did you make, sweetie?" She answers, "I made $200.50." The husband says, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?" She replies, "All of them."
dirty jokes
Homework joke 🤣 Latest english jokes
Teacher: Can I see your homework Me: Haha no way loser do your own 😁😁😁😁
teacher student jokes in english
Mexicans playing 🤣 Latest english jokes
What do u call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan-on-Juan.
short jokes
25 letters 🤣 Latest english jokes
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y
dad jokes
blondes walk 🤣 Latest english jokes
Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would've seen it.....
blonde jokes
Santa returns 🤣 Latest english jokes
Santa returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father, 'Dad, today we had a spelling class. All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am a Sardar?' 'No son, that's because you are intelligent.' Santa seemed content with the answer, asks his father another question, 'Dad, today we had Maths class. All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am a Sardar ?' 'No son, that's because you are intelligent,' replies his father. Happy with the answer, Santa poses another question to his father, 'Dad, today we had medical examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am a Sardar ?' The father replies, 'No son, that's because you are 33 years old.'
english jokes
bread say to the baker 🤣 Latest english jokes
What did the bread say to the baker? "You knead me."
pun jokes
blonde to laugh 🤣 Latest english jokes
Q: How can you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
blonde jokes
my stuff 🤣 Latest english jokes
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
dad jokes
call fake noodles 🤣 Latest english jokes
What do you call fake noodles? Impastas.
pun jokes
how many times 🤣 Latest english jokes
Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave? Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day. Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy? Man: No, I’m a barber.
stupid jokes
redhead are running 🤣 Latest english jokes
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They run into an old barn and hide in potato sacks. The officer chasing them walks into the barn looking for them. He kicks the first sack with the redhead inside and the redhead says, "Woof woof!" The cop thinks it's a dog, so he walks to the next one. He kicks the second bag with the brunette, and she says, "Meow meow!" The cop believes it's a cat and moves on. He kicks the third bag with the blonde, and the blonde yells, "Potato potato!"
english jokes
piano by ear 🤣 Latest english jokes
I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands
dad jokes
bring May flowers 🤣 Latest english jokes
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?" "Pilgrims
dad jokes
pick their nose 🤣 Latest english jokes
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine
dad jokes
zero say to the eight 🤣 Latest english jokes
What did the zero say to the eight?" "That belt looks good on you
dad jokes
lady goes to the doctor 🤣 Latest english jokes
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."
dirty jokes
camouflage pants 🤣 Latest english jokes
I wanted to buy camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.
pun jokes
Filipino contortionist 🤣 Latest english jokes
Q: What do you call a Filipino contortionist? A: A Manila folder.
short jokes
He keeps holding her hand 🤣 Latest english jokes
A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?” The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!”
english jokes
Wife wanted 🤣 Latest english jokes
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
english jokes
Three blondes walk 🤣 Latest english jokes
Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would've seen it.....
blonde jokes
Why should you wear 🤣 Latest english jokes
Why should you wear glasses when doing math? They improve division.
pun jokes
blonde who dyes 🤣 Latest english jokes
How can you tell when a brunette is actually a blonde who dyes her hair? When she trips over the cordless phone.
blonde jokes
call someone 🤣 Latest english jokes
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows
dad jokes
wondering why the ball 🤣 Latest english jokes
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
pun jokes
nothing special 🤣 Latest english jokes
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.”
dirty jokes
super hot chick 🤣 Latest english jokes
A super hot chick walks into her church and says to the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest says, "Tell me dear, what's on your mind?" "Well Father, I am a sex addict, and lately I discovered that I like doing it with priests. I had sex with the one from the church two blocks from here, the one five blocks from here, and also the one from the church nearby." The priest says, "It's okay, just pray three times a day for one week and it will all be okay." As the girl tries to go out, the priest says, "Oh, and dont forget that I will always be here for you!"
dirty jokes
favorite sport 🤣 Latest english jokes
What is the favorite sport of Mexicans? Cross Country
short jokes
Olympic medals 🤣 Latest english jokes
Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals because all the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.
short jokes
A little boy walks 🤣 Latest english jokes
A little boy walks into his parents' room while they're having sex. The boy asks, "What are you doing?" The mother explains, "Your daddy was full of air, so I was jumping on him to get it out." The boy says, "That's funny. Every time you leave for work, your sister comes and blows him right back up."
dirty jokes
Sleep with an open window 🤣 Latest english jokes
Sleep with an open window tonight! 1400 mosquitos like that. 420 mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared this. One mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.
english jokes
hanging onto a rope 🤣 Latest english jokes
There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
english jokes
A blonde gets lost 🤣 Latest english jokes
A blonde gets lost and calls for directions. The operator asks which cross streets she's at. The blonde replies, "I'm on the corner of Walk and Do Not Walk."
blonde jokes
the newscaster 🤣 Latest english jokes
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!" Confused, he replies, "Yes Dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved." After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"
english jokes
the last guy 🤣 Latest english jokes
A patient says, “Doctor, can I get AIDS from a toilet seat?” The doctor replies, “Yes, but only by sitting down before the last guy gets up.”
dirty jokes
be a doctor 🤣 Latest english jokes
I want to be a doctor, but I don't have enough patience.
pun jokes
A guy and his wife 🤣 Latest english jokes
A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
dirty jokes
call an elephant 🤣 Latest english jokes
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant
dad jokes
thief hire 🤣 Latest english jokes
Why did the thief hire a maid to plan his vacation? He wanted a clean getaway.
pun jokes
blonde woman driving 🤣 Latest english jokes
A police officer sees a blonde woman driving and knitting at the same time. Exasperated, he drives up next to her and screams out the window, "Pull over!" The blonde responds, "No Silly, it's a scarf.
blonde jokes
mirror that killed anyone 🤣 Latest english jokes
Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied... French : I think I dont smoke (died). American : I think I love my wife (died). Santa: I think.. (died) 😋😋😋😁
english jokes
claped together 🤣 Latest english jokes
Pedro lives in an orphanage. One day Pedro is heading towards town with his hands claped together, when the padre who runs this orphanage asks Pedro, "What do you have in your hands and where are you going?" Pedro replies, "Father, I have horseflies and I am going to town to get horses." Sure enough later Pedro comes back with two beautiful Arabians. Next day Pedro walks past the priest again with the same question, "Pedro, what do you have in your hand and where are you going?" Pedro replies once again, "Father I have butter and I am going to town to get butterflies." Sure enough Pedro returns with beautiful monarch butterflies. The very next day Pedro is headed towards town once again when the Priest asks the same question, "Pedro what do you have in your hands and where are you going?" Again Pedro replies, "Father I have Pussy willows-" "Wait, Pedro!" says the Priest, "I'll go with you!!"
dirty jokes
redhead are running 🤣 Latest english jokes
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They run into an old barn and hide in potato sacks. The officer chasing them walks into the barn looking for them. He kicks the first sack with the redhead inside and the redhead says, "Woof woof!" The cop thinks it's a dog, so he walks to the next one. He kicks the second bag with the brunette, and she says, "Meow meow!" The cop believes it's a cat and moves on. He kicks the third bag with the blonde, and the blonde yells, "Potato potato!"
blonde jokes
pig answered 🤣 Latest english jokes
A man walks by a blonde, who is holding a pig. The man asks, "Where did you get her?" The pig answered, "I won her at the fair."
blonde jokes
walked through the forest 🤣 Latest english jokes
Banta walked through the forest when he heard someone crying for help. He found a dwarf, stuck in a trap. He freed the dwarf, and the dwarf granted him two wishes. "My first wish," Banta said, "is a bottle of whiskey that will never fall empty." And flash, there was the bottle. Banta opened it, and drank it empty. The next moment, the bottle was full again. Banta was very happy. "What is your second wish," the dwarf asked? Banta replied, "I want another bottle..."😜 😝 😛
english jokes
giant once 🤣 Latest english jokes
I met a giant once. I didn't know what to say so I used big words.
pun jokes
sell curtains 🤣 Latest english jokes
Santa enters a shop that sell curtains. He announces to Gurdaya, the salesman, 'I would like to buy a pair of green curtains.' The salesman assures him that they had a large selection of green curtains. Gurdaya shows him several patterns, but Santa seems to be having a hard time choosing. Finally, he selects a smashing green floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains he requires.
santa banta jokes in english
worth of used 🤣 Latest english jokes
What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms? A. Melt them into a tire and call it a goodyear.
dirty jokes
radio on my way 🤣 Latest english jokes
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife...
dad jokes
Iranian who locked 🤣 Latest english jokes
Did you hear about the Iranian who locked himself out of his car? It took three hours to get his family out of it.
short jokes
independent 75-year-old woman 🤣 Latest english jokes
A difficult independent 75-year-old woman liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a whole loaf of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood. Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa. She replied in crazed anger and without hesitation, "Well, hell, I can't throw that far!"
english jokes
drug dealer 🤣 Latest english jokes
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
dad jokes
shower is fun 🤣 Latest english jokes
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera
dad jokes
A professor 🤣 Latest english jokes
A professor was giving a lecture on involuntary muscular contractions to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, he decided to lighten the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?" She replied, "He's probably playing golf with his friends."
dirty jokes
I get divorced 🤣 Latest english jokes
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
dirty jokes
Never trust 🤣 Latest english jokes
Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
pun jokes
Adele cross the road 🤣 Latest english jokes
Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side.
pun jokes
Three guys travel 🤣 Latest english jokes
Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and get lost. They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives. The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation. He asks the first guy what his job was. "I'm an employee at the shooting range," he replies. "Then we'll shoot your dick off!" the prince says. "I'm a fireman," the second guy says. "Then we'll burn your cock off!" says the prince. The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
dirty jokes
redhead all work 🤣 Latest english jokes
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey girls," says the brunette, "Let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." The next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught!"
blonde jokes
IDK stand 🤣 Latest english jokes
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
english jokes
black guy walks into a bar 🤣 Latest english jokes
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot the bartender says cool where did u get it the parrot says Africa
short jokes
blonde runs 🤣 Latest english jokes
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
blonde jokes
panties with flowers 🤣 Latest english jokes
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
dirty jokes
Glasgow 🤣 Latest english jokes
Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: they’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips
dirty jokes
blonde are walking 🤣 Latest english jokes
A brunette and blonde are walking in the park when the brunette says, "Aw, look at the dead birdie." The blonde looks up and says, "Where?"
english jokes