1000+ Funny Jokes 2025
Find the best jokes for your social media posts. Whether you're looking for funny, witty, or creative jokes, explore a variety of jokes for Instagram, Facebook, and more. Perfect for sharing some humor!
yogurt and Italians
What's the difference between yogurt and Italians? Yogurt has a working culture.
short jokes
A black guy walks joke
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and asks for a beer. The bartender brings a beer and notices the parrot on his shoulder and says, "Hey that's really neat. Where did you get it?" The parrot responds, "In the jungle, there's millions of them.
short jokes
confuse a blonde
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.
english jokes
blonde throws
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back. Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run because she has a grenade in her mouth.
blonde jokes
bad news
Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.
stupid jokes
funny and beautiful
“You are so kind, funny and beautiful.” “Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed.” “And smart, too!”
english jokes
call them bagels
Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels
dad jokes
magic mirror
A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, "I look fat," and dies. The brunette says, " I look skinny," and dies. The blonde says, "I think..." and dies.
blonde jokes
drug dealer
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
stupid jokes
Two police officers
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.” 😋😋😋😋
english jokes
tried to take a photo
I tried to take a photo of a wheat field. It turned out grainy.
pun jokes
How was school today
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
english jokes
belt go to jail
Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
pun jokes
difference between your penis
What's the difference between your penis and a bonus check? Someone's always willing to blow your bonus.
dirty jokes
Making mirrors
Making mirrors is a job I can really see myself doing.
pun jokes
famous person
You should only have sex with a famous person if you really, really genuinely want to tell people about it afterwards
dirty jokes
corduroy pillows
Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They're making headlines
dad jokes
heart of the lion
My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
pun jokes
call an Indian
What do you call an Indian man which is on fire? Ima Singin.
short jokes
blonde are stranded
A brunette, redhead, and blonde are stranded on the edge of a cliff. An angel appears and instructs them to jump off the cliff and say out loud what they would like to land on safely. The brunette goes first. She jumps and says, "Pillows!" She lands on a pile of pillows at the bottom. The redhead goes next. She jumps and says "Feathers!" She lands on a mass of feathers below. The blonde walks up to the edge, but trips on a rock, yelling, "Shit!" as she falls off.
blonde jokes
fitted years ago
I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since
dad jokes
archaeologist
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from!
dirty jokes
cows masturbating
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off!
dirty jokes
A wife comes
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
dirty jokes
A gynecologist notices
A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says no. The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs. The doctor says, "What's so funny?" She says, "I'm imagining how they make condoms."
dirty jokes
Bartender
Bartender: “What’s the matter buddy?” Man: “I caught my wife in bed with my best friend.” Bartender: “What did you do?” Man: “I told her to get the hell out!” Bartender: “What about your friend?” Man: “I looked him straight in the eyes and said ‘bad dog!’”
dirty jokes
A wealthy man
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a postcard, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife handed the card over and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."
dirty jokes
crazy wife says
A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from the sky. The husband says, it’s reindeer.
pun jokes
A husband and wife
A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."
blonde jokes
meet you at the corner
What did one wall say to the other?" "I'll meet you at the corner.
dad jokes