funny motivational quotes status
short funny motivational quotes
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
Maureen Dowd
The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.
Ayn Rand.
It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Long fellow
There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.
Roger Staubach
The process of learning is a nonstop orgy of wonderment.
Lev Grossman
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Thomas A. Edison
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Winnie the Pooh
If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
Yogi Berra
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Edison
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
Franklin P. Jones
Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.
Robert Downey Jr.
Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer
There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Aspire to inspire before we expire.
Eugene Bell Jr.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!
Audrey Hepburn
You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? Steven Wright
If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.
Donald Trump
You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
Robin Williams
You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Jack London
The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.
Joe Girard
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.
Elvis Presley
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
Dalai Lama
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing that’s why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Steven Wright
When you have failed at being nice, you’ve actually succeeded in being mean. Success is everywhere if you know where to look for it.
Katina Ferguson
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there. Josh Billings
I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx
funny motivational saying
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Dale Carnegie
A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.
Robert Benchley
When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain. Don’t complain about the mud! Hyacinth Mottley
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
Will Rogers
Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
Kyle Chandler
Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is! Jeffrey Gitomer
Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.
Langston Coleman
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
Will Rogers
Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it.
Brian Vaszily
Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost, and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.
Ellen DeGeneres
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
Ellen DeGeneres
Bad decisions make good stories.
Ellis Vidler
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Schulz
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Oscar Wilde
I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.
Cassandra Duffy
Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.
Voltaire
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you’re alive it isn’t.
Richard Bach
Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.
Pablo Picasso
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
Cathy Guisewite
When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’ Sydney Harris
Life is like the stock market. Some days you’re up. Some days you’re down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.
Paula Wall
If you’re going through hell, keep going.
Winston Churchill
A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory. Mark Twain
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
Robert Frost
If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly. Steve Maraboli
I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Benjamin Franklin
We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Only he who attempts the absurd is capable of achieving the impossible.
Miguel de Unamuno
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred Allen
The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
Arthur C. Clarke
Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.
Robert Brault
I stumbled across a rather aggravated post (rant) on LinkedIn the other day; detailing a certain user’s distaste (and hatred, actually) for inspirational quotes (posters to be more precise).
I thought… surely, not every single quote out there is as ‘boring,’ ‘cheesy’ and ‘pointless’ as this LinkedIn user would have me believe?
