3323+ Silly Quotes Status 2026

short silly quotes about life

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Francois: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?

There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.

My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last minutes. It lasts forever.

I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure and I don’t have to shake hands.

As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.

Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give percent. Unless the job is a statistician.

Does it disturb anyone else that ‘The Los Angeles Angels’ baseball team translates directly to ‘The The Angels Angels’?

I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating.

What do you mean, he don’t eat no meat? That’s okay, that’s okay. I make lamb.

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry?

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

If we’re going to pay this much for crab, it better sing and dance and introduce us to the Little Mermaid.

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Woke up today. It was terrible.

Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook at for minutes.

I can’t end my messages with Love, Shaq because the B-s ruined that for me.

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox.

Thanksgiving dinners take hours to prepare. They are consumed in minutes. Half-times take minutes. This is not a coincidence.

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Brian: Look, you’ve got it all wrong. You don’t need to follow me. You don’t need to follow anybody. You’ve got to think for yourselves. You’re all individuals.

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

What they could do to make it easier is combine the two, real estate and obituaries: Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three-bedroom apartment with a wood-burning fireplace.

silly quotes about love

You must be made of Iodine, Livermorium, and Uranium because I Lv U!

You’re the obi wan for me.

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?

You’re the cheese to my macaroni.

Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.

“Love” is the same as “like” except you feel sexier.

A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite.

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.

Together with you is my favorite place to be.

Let’s be weird and wonderful together.

You’re basically the cutest thing I have ever loved, after my kitten.

Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday... yesterday you were pretty annoying.

Love makes people do silly things. Like, it made me send you this message!

It’s amazing how one day someone walks into your life, and then the next day you wonder how you lived without them.

Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.

A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

If you love them in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love them at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

A person in love partly becomes a poet, a composer, and the corniest person in the room.

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore

silly quotes for friends

We will be a best friend forever because you know too much about me

Friends become family, they care about you, they love to do crazy things and they always support you

Friends will know what crazy things you gonna do next, no matter how crazy it is they will support you

I was a normal and innocent person then he shows up and changed my life completely

My parents think my friend is a good and honest child but I know how crazy and stupid he is

In friendship, you make fun of each other and that’s the true friendship

Friends will always make you smile even if you are feeling down in life

I can’t live without friends because without friendship life will be boring

If you are not making fun of each other then you are not best friends you are just friends

I’m glad that you are in my life because I feel I’m lucky that you’re my best friend

Friends will know what you are thinking before you tell them and that makes them special

The time you spend with your friends is the best time you ever had so enjoy that time and have fun with your friends

I just met this person one day now we are best friends and we do crazy stuff together

If you have a friend who is crazy as you and always support you don’t ever lose them

In friendship, you always laugh at each other but always there for each other when time is worst

We became best friends because we love to do crazy and stupid things

Friends are like family, support you in your worst, make you smile and always making fun of each other

Best friends come to your house without asking you, they don’t care if you are home is clean or not, ask for wifi and eat all your foods

Whenever you get out of big trouble with your best friend he will say, damn that was fun

A best friend is like a mind reader he will always read your mind and will tell you what stupid ideas are you planning

My all secrets are kept in a safe locker and no one can break it because that safe locker is my best friend

In friendship, you never say thank you because you know if your friend is in trouble you will always help them and they will do the same thing

When we are together we are the best entertainer in the world

Normal people can’t understand the conversation between two best friends

I was living a normal life but when I met him he changes my normal and boring life into fun and adventure life

When you remember the time you spent with your friends and a smile comes to your face that is friendship

I found him and he found me and our amazing and crazy journey begins

In friendship, you do crazy things but when you get caught you say, we don’t know who did this

Best friendship is when you say to your friend did we just overdid it

We met after such a long time but we never changed we started making fun of each other that is true friendship

In friendship, you don’t judge each other you just have fun with each other

We are best friends because we have so many things common and we both are stupid and funny

It is too dangerous to let go of a best friend because he will reveal all of my secrets

You became friends with me now you are stuck with me for a lifetime

We both are stupid that’s why we are stuck together and make other people mad and crazy

You will never find a friend like me because you know I’m the only one that can handle you

Whenever you are in big trouble and when you ask help to your best friend he will first laugh at you and ask you how you get there

Friendship is amazing you just met a strange person and you became friends and the next day you both are doing some crazy stuff together

We will always be friends no matter how old we get but then also we will be thinking of some crazy stuff that will make other people mad

Without my friends, I can’t imagine living life because there will be no fun in life without them

If you have a friend who is caring, supportive and stupid then don’t lose them because in this big world there are very few of them and you are lucky that you have one

When you need help you call the police but when I need help I call for my best friend

Admit it you don’t wanna lose me because you will never find anyone like me

If you did not find me in my house I will be taking a nap at my best friend’s house because that’s where I spend most of the time

I have very few loyal and crazy friends that’s why when we are together we look like a gang and no one dares to make fun of us when we are together

If you lost in the jungle with your best friend and come out laughing after surviving 10 days then that is true friendship because I know when we are together no one can beat us

When you share your horrible ideas to you are friends they will be like this will be fun let’s do this

Funny part of friendship is when you go to your best friend’s home, eat his food and take a nap there

When I need a solution to the problem I go to my best friend because I feel that he is the best detective in the world who will solve my case in no time

If normal people heard the conversation between two best friends they will think these two are crazy and ask them to go to the doctor

silly quotes for kids

It’s not about how tired you are It’s about how tired you’re making everyone else – A husband explaining bedtime to the kids

Dear math, grow up and solve your own problems – HaHa

Keep looking up, there may be a rainbow waiting for you

When I’m too big for you to hold, I’ll hold you instead – Ashlyn, age

If you listen very quietly, it sounds like the rain is playing music in the grass and the trees – Gideon, age

Graham: Everyone in my class wants to be a doctor

I really love being human, but some days I really wish I could be a fairy – Greta,

Mommy, I’m not joking, I’m not kidding, and I’m not playing I NEED chocolate! – Sophia,

Fog is just clouds that have fallen down – Dylan,

Ow! My eye! I didn’t know where my hand was going I thought it wanted to rest behind my head but it wanted to poke me in the eye – Gabriel,

It was fun being famous on my birthday

Mommy, I love you When monsters come, I will save you – Solomon,

What if the police lied and turned on the siren, but he was just going to get a taco for lunch? – Jonah,

I better go to bed now I have a dream locked up in my heart that I need to let out – Greta,

I really wish I had some yoga pants even though I really don’t do yoga Kind of like you, mom… – Hannah,

Ashlyn, age : Mommy, guess what?

Are we taking the stairs or the alligator? – Royal,

Mom: Good morning! Do you need a hug?

Mom: Henry, you can come down out of time-out now

silly quotes for best friend

A best friend is someone who you can talk to, who won’t judge you, loves you for you, and most of all, makes you feel like you are worth something

Best friends they know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public

It doesn’t matter what you think of me, because my imaginary friends think I’m special

A best friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have

You think I’m crazy now? You should see me with my best friend

We are best friends Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing…

I was an innocent being… then my best friend came along

I like it when I don’t have to be careful what I say That’s when you know you’re with the right people

Talking to your best friend is sometimes all the therapy you need

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face

You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend I’ll train you

I hope we’re friends until we die then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people

A good friend will help you up when you fall A best friend laughs in your face and trips you again

I feel like I should clean the house, so I’m going to lay down and nap until that feeling passes

A best friend is someone who loves you when you forgot to love yourself

Sometimes I wish I could write I miss you on a rock and hit you in the face with it so you would know how much it hurts to miss someone

silly quotes for sister

I know what you did, and I will tell Mom!

As far as sisters go, you're the best there is, but I'm still the favorite.

If you think I'm high maintenance, you should see my sister.

Our crazy family tree - we're just two nuts who survived it together. Love you, sis.

No matter how hard you try, sisters are the friends you can never get rid of.

Yeah, my sister scares me a little bit, but that's part of what I love about her.

Little sisters - the only person in the world you can blame for the things you did and get away with it.

You're my sister and my best friend. If you think otherwise, just remember I know all your secrets.

If you trip and fall in life, I will be there to help you up - after I quit laughing.

When you have a sister, you never truly forget the past. If you do, she'll be happy to remind you of all your stupidest mistakes.

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. —Linda Sunshine

If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she’s wearing your best sweater.” —Pam Brown

Never let an angry sister comb your hair. —Patricia McCann

What are sisters for if not to point out the things the rest of the world is too polite to mention.” —Claire Cook

A sister will always notice her sister’s first gray hairs with glee.” —Allison M. Lee